27…

I just marked 27 years…The number 27 can mean a period of spiritual growth, brining more balance in one’s life to find their path. I’m not sure about the spiritual part, but I’m definitely trying to find more balance. This number is also the only number that is three times the sum of its digits (2+7=9 and 9x3 = 27). I reached this milestone surprisingly, I never expected it, yet I’m appreciative that I did.

I remember walking into orientation, a few minutes early (I have a fear of being late), wearing a suit from Ann Taylor (the office was business dress at the time), and the nerves fluttering in my stomach - will I make it here? Will this be a good fit? Can I trust my leaders? (Some of these questions I still ask myself). My first team of leaders, what a gift, I was so (SO) fortunate - they each graciously shared their professional wisdom, offered me opportunities to grow in the role, and encouraged me to move when they knew change was coming (reorganization, layoffs, restructuring, downsizing, transformation - call it what you will, each unsettling).

Throughout the tenure of my experience I’ve had several “lives” - working for a large organization provided me with the opportunity to move into different roles - witnessing and experiencing various leaders and leadership styles, some more respected than others - the latter does prompt more introspection about my choices.

I’ve celebrated moments of achievements, milestones (accolades, promotions, retirement, project completions, taking time for oneself, new roles), and tried to provide support, compassion and empathy at losses (personal and professional), learn from the mistakes I make (and have made) and the many lessons shared with me. I’ve learned to listen to the clues and cues. Throughout the years I continue to learn more about the firm as well as myself through the actual work I do and the people, teammates who I do the work with, some who are trusted friends as well (unexpected and welcomed gifts). I think it was Oprah who said “the more people you know the more you know about yourself.” So very true - I’ve been blessed with a diverse network of colleagues over the years and I’m appreciative of the diverse skills and lessons they’ve shared with me. At times, I am surprised that I “missed” a clue - when spending time with colleagues in person and online, respecting what one may or may not want to share and learning along the way - I’m honored to be trusted when someone shares something with me, and I’m honored with feedback shared with me - even if the words are hard to hear, they’re important to someone in my network and therefore, it’s important that I hear them.

As I move beyond this milestone I find myself questioning how to navigate the changes and analyzing more acutely what I’m asked and the reactions of others when I share information with them. I find myself negotiating with myself, or am I trying to convince myself? I know I have more to give and learn, even at this point of my career (the latter half). I’m grateful for the team I work with as they are my primary source for learning and collaboration. People want to be seen, and heard, and their words, my words, matter — and their meaning matters too, which is why I listen for the clues and cues - particularly when something is not said or the underlying question is perhaps subtly “hidden”. I’ve learned to listen and lean in to what is and what’s not being said (or asked). Sometimes, these experiences prompt me to question trust and integrity and when this happens, I try to pivot my insecurities and approach from the positive.

So here I sit - I’m perched on a rung, watching, listening, and marinating. I’m prepared to prop others up - to help them along in their career - as people matter - focusing on how I can help them be seen and recognized. Saying thank you and meaning it and paying it forward, as my first team of leaders shared with me, I try to share with others, this is what really matters.

Milestones moments - in no particular order…Surviving Y2K; rock climbing (team building); volunteering as a photographer at an office event with tennis pros in Grant Park; being asked about stockings (hosiery) in the summer and grateful for Hanes summer weight (it was business dress); many re-orgs (too many to track) and coming to peace with the ever present possibility; earning an MBA; business travel sounded glamorous, but it’s not, yet it can be fun with trusted teammates; corporate lingo bingo and being mindful not to use firm acronyms when speaking outside the firm; watching and admiring people reach their career progressions, celebrating their milestones, and sometimes that’s celebrating moving on; learning to say “see you soon” instead of “goodbye”; developing friendships and building skills that have helped me personally as well as professionally; still trying to create healthy boundaries and remember that I even though I can, doesn’t mean I should; the importance of stepping away and letting your team step in; and finding moments that matter each day.